Updates

I can't believe we've almost made it through the end of January already! Atlanta has been really lucky so far, weather-wise. Only a few really cold days, but mostly in the 50s and 60s. I'll take that in January any time. Although we're almost a month into the new year, I'm still happy to report that I'm feeling really motivated to work on all of my 2012 goals. Lately I've:

-Lost a couple of pounds. Not much, but something.
-Joined a gym! I'm actually really excited about this.
-Have not shopped. At all. No clothes, home items, nothing. I am most proud of this one!
-Have been saving money other ways as well--less eating out!
-Reserved a copy of The Happiness Project at the library (saving money and reading more). Excited about this one too...picking up my copy tonight!
-Doing a painting party/girls' wine night tomorrow night. This counts as taking a class, right?

Lots of fun things happening over here. I had a bummer of a day yesterday, for various (mostly work related reasons), so I'm happy that today is a new, happy day, and that I can think about all the wonderful things I'm doing with my life in 2012. Its easy to get bogged down by the little things, but always important to remember all the good.

Now I want to focus on the Great Closet Cleanout and donate/consign some things that are not perfect for me. I need to get over my want for quantity in the closet, and shoot more for quality items that I love. Working on this next, and working more on shopping in my own closet!

How are your resolutions holding up? Any awesome stories or tips to share?

Excitement for today:

-Long overdue oil change appointment made.
-LONG overdue hair cut appointment made (my first time in Atlanta...baby steps).
-Long overdue hanging out with NOA (North of Atlanta) friends.

Are you noticing a pattern here? I do love checking things off my list.

Also looking forward to:
-mustache party on Saturday
-meeting more of John's family on Sunday
-weekend in general
-cosying up with my new library book (as if I don't have enough new books in my life already..)
-21 days until beach
-26 days until BSB

Happy Monday (for real!)

So, yet again, I have been neglecting the poor blog. But I promise that it is for good reason. Last week I was out of town for work (and very, very busy), so there was no time for any life musings or updates about my general fabulousity (ha!). And then early Friday morning--as in midnight--I was stricken with the plague. Still not sure what was wrong, but it was neither fun nor pleasant. Thank goodness for my coworkers who drove me back home and put up with my grossness for the ride back. Once I made it into my bed around 2:30 pm, I did not get back out until around 8:30 the next morning. Luckily, I'm back to normal now :)

So, there's not much to update on as of late. I have not made any fabulous purchases, or crafted anything, or reorganized my house at all. Although, I started on a closet overall/shoe organization effort last night. Maybe if it turns out really well I'll post pics when I'm done. There's nothing like a well-organized closet to brighten up a day. There are a few things on my current wish-list, which include a very cute mint green cardigan from J. Crew,

tickets to Avenue Q for John's birthday, and something else to get him as a gift. Still unsure about that one...feel free to leave comments if you know any guy friendly gifts! I've also been wanting to go back to the wonderful consignment/thrift shops in Chamblee that I posted about a few months back. There might be some treasure waiting to be found. And lastly, I planted a very cute flower pot of petunias (which I got for free!) about a week ago, and I need to pretty up the plain clay put that I bought. Time to bust out the sorority craft supplies, I guess.

One more current goal (which is always a current goal)--be healthier. I've actually gotten a jump start on this because I didn't eat for, oh, about 2.5 days with the sickness. So I'm automatically eating less now, and actually have a reall interest in seriously controlling my portion sizes, and buying healthier, fresh groceries. A trip to Trader Joe's is in order. I even went for a nice walk outside in Piedmont Park today at lunch. Not exactly a workout, but definitely better than just sitting at my desk. I want to start doing that much more often. Any little bit helps!

Flowers are blooming!

Yes, you heard right.I've been seeing beautiful red bud trees and cherry blossoms and daffodils for about a week now. Hooray, I love spring! Unfortunately this weekend was not very spring-like. It was gray and dreary and a little cold. I actually love this weather usually, but I was really looking forward to some warmth and a little outside time. Oh, well. Hopefully there will be lovely weather next weekend!

Last week was full of work, and it was a 5 day week! Phew, i'm glad I made it. I'm not used to being at work for an entire week :) The weekend was really nice, though. John met me lunch at the Vortex on Friday while I was at work, and we only got mildly drenched from the rain on the way back. Friday night I lounged at home and enjoyed some rainy weather downtime. Saturday I had a great massage, then went down to John's house where we contemplated bowling, but decided we would rather go show shopping instead (his idea, not mine, but of course I wouldn't turn it down!). We ate some crappy BBQ (I have yet to go to an actual good BBQ restaurant since I moved to GA), and watched a movie on the couch. Sunday we went out for brunch (4 course brunch at Ruby Tuesday, very tasty!) and were lazy again. I hope next weekend we can use our tennis rackets when he comes over to my place.

I'm also incredibly excited because in a mere 6 days from now, I will be in sunny California! YAY! I am so thrilled I cannot even desribe it to you. I need to start planning some outfits and researching a few restaurants. If any of you has been to San Francisco or LA, send ideas my way! Let the countdown begin!

I hope everyone is having a lovely Monday, and survived daylight savings time (I detest springing forward...where did my hour of sleep go??). xoxo

Home again (finally)!

I'm finally back in Atlanta after a week long trip to Florida, followed by a lovely long weekend in NC. Here's a short recap of life lately with a couple of photos. More to come soon, I promise!

I barely made my flight connection to Raleigh on Friday afternoon (and my bags did not). Thank goodness I ran through the airport and got on the plane with 5 minutes to spare! Sarina picked me up at the airport in beautiful Raleigh, and we headed to Winston!

Highlights of Winston-Salem include:
-4 course dinner at Village Tavern for $25!
-BBQ sandwiches at Little Richard's
-Hanging out on campus and ransacking the Deacon Shop for new merchandise
-Going to the Joel for the first time since senior year (even if we did lose. badly.)
-Mindless driving around Winston, and wishing that we could move there
-The Jewel Box!

Sarina dropped me off on Sunday and I stayed with my parents until yesterday afternoon, when I flew back here. I hate that I only had 1 day to spend at home, but at least I'll get to see my parents again in 3 weeks for California vacations--you heard right! In less than 3 weeks, I'll be on my way to San Francisco. I. Can't. Wait.

Enjoy a couple of photos from last Sunday. The weather was perfection (sunny, clear, and 70 degrees), so John and I climbed to the top of Stone Mountain! Yes, you read that correctly too. We had a great time, and the city views were incredible. If any of you non-Atlanta friends come to visit while the weather is good, I'll take you there! And of course we finished off our day of excersize with a large Hawaiian pizza from Mellow Mushroom...typical.

The whole skyline view

And the pizza :)

Forgive me

I've been a terrible blogger lately. I've pretty much abandoned this thing for the last few weeks, but hopefully that means I've been out living life and having fun instead of sitting around writing about it? Hmm...maybe.

So, a little bit of a September recap is needed. Disney was lovely and wonderful, but definitely not relaxing. I think it took me a week of sleep just to catch up! I was in Birmingham all last week for work, which was also fun. I like the city. We stayed downtown near the Five Points area (does every city in America have a Five Points? I think yes), and went to some great restaurants. I had delicious BBQ--NOT NC style--one night, and we went to a fabulous place called Highland Bar & Grill to celebrate my birthday a day early. We split lots of amazing appetizers including baked grits and spiny lobster tails, but the best part was definitely dessert. I had a chocolate bread pudding which was to die for. I also tasted the creme brulee which was like velvet. Delicious!

Luckily, we left Birmingham a day early, and I got to come back to ATL for my birthday. Honestly, any birthday after 21 is not really exciting, and a little bit of a let down. I loved the excuse to get my friends together, play trivia and drink martinis (and go to a crazy 80s dance party with the weirdest people I have ever seen), but the day didn't feel that special. I enjoyed it, and hopefully 23 will have a lot to offer this year! Friday I flew to Raleigh and had an awesome weekend at home. Pretty lazy overall--the most adult thing I did was get my own cell phone plan...it pained me to split off from my parents plan, but you've got to cut the apron strings eventually, right? I can barely even use my new phone, which makes me feel like an old person! I guess I'll just have to read the manual..sigh. I did some shopping, went to dinner at the Angus Barn, as is the usual bday tradition, and then got to see my wonderful friends on Sunday for dinner and a movie. FYI for anyone interested in seeing Love Happens, the new Jennifer Anniston movie: its a total downer. Just be prepared. Monday I took the day off and visited SCD at her school and got to see her classroom. It was so perfect, but I'd expect nothing less from her.

And now its back to the work grind for a couple of days. I'm only in the office for a 3 day week (only 2 now!), then I flex on Friday, and leave for class in Minneapolis for a week before homecoming at Wake next weekend!! So excited to go back to Winston! And in the mean time, so fairly exciting stuff is going on in my personal life, but I'll leave that update for another day :)

I hope you all are fabulous and are having a lovely start to fall. It was 55 degrees here this morning when I left my apartment! I love crisp weather, and I was not at all sad to say goodbye to this summer and close that chapter all together. Fall is definitely my favorite season, and I'm so glad its upon us. Has anything exciting happened with any of my awesome blog friends out there? Don't be shy! xoxo

Monday rambles

Hi again dear readers! I feel like there has been so much going on lately, and I have so much to type about, but I can't remember any of the things I wanted to say. Hmm...maybe this is a sign that I'm getting old a little too quickly.

First, a life update. I realize that my last post was a downer, but whatever. Some days just kind of suck, and Friday was one of those days unfortunately. Just kind of blah and thinking about all kinds of things I shouldn't have been thinking about and hanging around the apartment all day by myself. Not such a great way to spend a day off. I'll admit: even makeup and shoe shopping could not perk me up, which is rare. Usually retail therapy is just the ticket, but lately I've been a little bored with shopping. Insanity, I know. So, Friday was sucky and boring and unfortunately that feeling carried over to Saturday morning. But luckily, I perked myself up because Amy and Sarah came over to spend the night! We went to the Braves game in the afternoon--so fun, they beat the Phillies in the bottom of the 9th (and I actually know what "bottom of the 9th" means). Our seats were in the shade the whole time, too. Overall, really awesome. Afterwards, we went to Trader Joe's to stock up on deliciousness before going out for the evening. We started at Moon Dogs, which was really fun and cheap and smoky, in a college bar kind of way. Then we moved over to Fado for the rest of the evening. I had a really great time with the girls!

Sunday morning, we all woke up feeling pretty gross even though we didn't go too crazy the night before. Again, I'm old. We had lunch at Tin Lizzy's and I spent the rest of the afternoon being a lazy bum on the couch with all my new HD channels. Also chatted with Sarina on the phone, which is always nice. We feel the same way about a lot of things, and I feel like we're going through a similar life situation right now. In short, I don't feel so crazy once I talk to her, which is a good feeling (especially since I feel like the crazy has kind of been taking over me lately).

Overall a good weekend. Having the girls spend the night also reinforced my want for a roommate. It was awesome having them around to make dinner with, get ready with, and just to sit around watching tv with on Sunday morning. Its definitely the little things like that I miss the most about having a roomie. Hopefully something will work out by the time my lease is up!

In other news, I'm finally back in my office after the whopping four weeks out. I've felt kind of antsy here all day, but I'm having fun catching up with everyone. I was especially excited to meet the two new people in my office. They are both young and really nice. I'm so excited to have more friends here now--and my age!

And of course I must comment on all the celeb news I've been neglecting as of late:
1. Jon and Kate is still depressing. I try my best not to watch, but just can't stop. Also, I read on US Weekly this morning that this week is the one year anniversary of their vow renewal in Hawaii. How sad.
2. Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. With her creepy ex-bf's baby. Need I say more?
3. Melissa Joan Hart and Aaron Carter are both going to be on DWTS next season. That might be enough to finally put me over the edge and force me to watch!

Home at last

You'd think i'd be thrilled, right? Well, in theory I am. It was great to get to my apartment last night (after an insanely long and miserable MARTA ride). I ate veggies for dinner that I cooked myself, talked to Sarina on the phone and did two gigantic loads of laundry. Then I went to bed at 9:30 in my own bed. All of this was glorious. As much as I enjoyed DC and seeing all my lovely friends, it was definitely time to go.

But here I am again: alone in Atlanta. You would think I'd be thrilled to finally be home after an epic month of travel. I finally have time to sit around by myself and do as little as possible. This is a three day weekend, after all. Most people would be happy...usually, I'd be happy. But something just isn't right. I'm still unhappy. Unsatisfied...whatever you want to call it. Obviously, the root of the problem is still the same. I wish I could shake it, but I just can't right now. I've pretty much stopped trying. Sometimes you have to just let yourself wallow a little and deal with it. Unfortunate, but true I think. And after talking to my bffs, they convinced me that I'm going to need some closure eventually. Meaning: when the "end of the summer" rolls around--whatever that means--if a certain someone hasn't called me, I'm going to have to contact him myself and just talk things out. Its pretty painful to think about, but necessary. Honestly, I wish I could get it over with now, but I've got to at least give it until September. Hopefully I'll be able to be as positive and happy as possible until I get up the courage to make the call (or email, hehe).

Anyway, thanks to all my lovely friends & readers, and K in particular, for continuing to actually speak to me and be interested in my life and deal with me on the phone when I call out of the blue totally depressed and then am back to normal about 5 mins later. Myabe I'm bipolar and should see a therapist and/or pharmacist, haha. Or maybe not...don't want to develop a Michael Jackson situation!

And just to finish things off on a positive note, here are a few good things about today, that even a sometime-emotional-trainwreck can appreciate:
-my new HD cable! the channels are amazing.
-sleeping in my own bed
-my washing machine is working normally again!
-closet organization
-gorgeous weather
-hopefully laying out by the pool later
-fun plans with friends tomorrow :)

Quarter life crisis

I have recently discovered a recurring theme in most of my closest friends: the quarter-life crisis, or some variation of it. No one is really happy or totally satisfied (even though by any normal standards, I have very successful friends--grad school, full time jobs, etc). Everyone is just anticipating whatever is about to happen next. Yes, I realize we are only in our early 20s, and its natural to be constantly looking to the future. But are we totally losing sight of the present by doing so? I think yes, in a lot of ways.

I am my own best example: I have to constantly remind myself of just how lucky I am, when I should just be living it every day. It's been a long, hard summer so far. Lots of missing home & all of my Wake friends & a certain other person--we all know who I'm refering to on that front. Adjusting to Atlanta in general. I can honestly say that the past two months of my life have been harder in every single way than any months I've lived up until now. I've experienced just about every emotion possible--sadness, depression, lonliness, happiness, giddiness, frustration and overall calm.

The crazy thing is, a lot of my friends have been feeling the same way. Maybe not as super-emotional as I've been (thank goodness for them!), but still very "in between" in lots of ways. They've had breakups and guy troubles, family issues, birthdays making them older, challenges and tests that maybe they've passed or maybe they've failed. There's been lots of great things too--vacations and visits and summer fun in general. But everyone is still unsettled. I think that unsettled feeling comes from one place only: ourselves. Our generation of young twenty-somethings doesn't have the typical parental pressures of generations past. We put pressure on ourselves. We compare ourselves to our peers, and it makes us more and more frustrated with all the achievements we have--and believe me, they are many.

I was talking with my friend Kate last week, and she told me about a book she recently read called Surviving the Quarter Life Crisis. I haven't read it yet, but it seems like its pretty worthwhile. Its all about how we shouldn't put so much pressure on ourselves and compare ourselves to our peers who are getting promoted, getting married, etc--whatever the case may be. Instead, we should compare ourselves to our younger self. I picture myself at 16, then I picture myself now. I've come a hell of a long way, and should be really really proud! Everyone should take the time to do this. Not everyone is meant to start a booming career or a family at the same point in life, so why make yourself miserable by looking around at others and thinking of all you don't have? It'd ridiculous and isn't worth the heartache. Plus, you never know what those people's lives are really like on the inside. Who knows--they could be looking back at you and comparing themselves to your fabulous life!

Alright, enough of my little rant for now. I definitely don't think I've discovered anything monumental in my realizations, but at least now I'm certain that I'm not alone--very far from it, actually. Everyone has their own fears and mental blocks, and that doesn't make you crazy. I think it makes you normal. For me, life (and all the emotions and thoughts it entails) is still very day by day. Sure, I'd like to be more happy and carefree overall and less lonely sometimes, but I've definitely learned more about myself in the past two months of rollercaoster living, than I have in the past 22 years of smooth sailing. And that's what the early 20s are for, right? I hope so!

As of late.

I had a lovely visit from my mom and Granny this weekend. We did very girly things, such as outlet mall shopping, visiting the High museum of art for the new Monet exhibit (disappointing...I'm pretty sure they could've gotten more than four freaking paintings to do an entire exhibit), and eating. I had a wonderful time and it was really nice to have company in my apartment for an extended period of time! I'm so used to hanging out there by myself, it was nice to have someone to cook with and talk to and go to the pool with for 3 straight days!

It was weird not to be with my dad on Father's Day for the first time ever. We had a nice chat on the phone, but nothing can really replace actually spending time with family. I love and miss all the mother's and father's days growing up when my whole family would come over and my dad would grill delicious steaks for us and my mom would make me wash all the dainty glass bowls in the house for a pretty salad bar on the kitchen counter. Ahh, the memories:) Regardless, I am happy to get to see my dad this weekend when I will be in NC!
___________________________________________

A few summer resolutions I have made as of late:

1. Cook often, and make a variety of things. I've decided that I'm never going to learn or get into the habit of cooking if I don't force myself to do it now. I'm even thinking of taking a week at the end of the summer and forcing myself to make a different meal 7 nights in a row. Think I can handle it?

2. Go to the pool after work. I have two pools in my apartment complex, and I need to use them while I've got them. I went the past 3 nights with Mom and it was great. I didn't realize how relaxing it was until I went 3 nights in Florida last week by myself, and then again all weekend. It does the body and mind a lot of good.

3. No turning down invitations. Parties, meals, just hanging out and playing games. Doesn't matter. If my lovely friends here invite me and I'm (shockingly) in town, I will go. Hanging out and meeting new people is excellent fun.

4. Read read read. I bought some new books last week, and we all know already how much I love the public library. I'm going to take myself back to the olden days of summer reading lists in the next couple months, except this time its going to be exactly what I want to read. Suggestions are welcome! (And thanks to Kristin for making me buy Why Men Love Bitches. Highly informative, fabulous and pertinent. I can't wait to finish it...every girl needs to read it. Period.)

There's nothing like a 9 carat diamond...

to bring loads of happiness into my life. Sigh.

Yesterday we finished up work early and had enough free time to drive up to West Palm Beach, aka heaven on earth, and stroll around. The beach was stunningly beautiful. Just gorgeous. White sand, clear turquoise water. So gorgeous that I didn't even care that I got sunburned in approx 45 total minutes of being outside. That is paradise. We also walked down the beautiful and ridiculously luxurious Worth Ave (think: Rodeo Drive of the east). Obviously couldn't afford to buy much of anything, but a (very, very attractive) young man/jewelry salesman came to my rescue, and offered me a crystal glass of cold water and the chance to, oh ya know, just try on a few giagantic diamonds just for fun. Again I say, heaven on earth. And note to future husband, wherever you may be out there: now that I've experienced that kind of beauty on my finger, I don't think I can go back. A 7-9 carat Asscher cut engagement ring would be great, thanks:)

So yesterday was the first day of what I have decided is going to be the best summer ever. Cliche, I know, but I don't care. I've been too caught up in life lately..too bummed out about various things, and that's not acceptable anymore. Happiness is a conscious decision & effort, and I plan to make myself the happiest I've ever been this summer. After all, no one can make me happy more than myself. I have a wonderful life, wonderful friends, and I'm so lucky. I just need to let myself enjoy life every once in a while. No more worrying/stressing/feeling anxious about whatever may (or may not) be going on in my life at the moment. I plan to spend this summer meeting new people, doing awesome things with friends, visiting NC and traveling a ton for work. And I'm going to have a great time while I do it. I'm thrilled for the possibilities, and I just hope that I can keep up my mood and enthusiasm. I know I will, because I won't let myself feel any other way! Its the perfect time for this refocus to happen too...so much is possible, I can't even comprehend!

So, the summer kicked off with some huge diamond rings...sounds about right, doesn't it? Next up, a visit from my mom and granny this weekend, filled with shopping and fun in general. I can't wait to see them. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

And one last side note: Jess is having a boy eeek! So unbelievable. Congratulations!

Greetings from sunny FLA

Happy Monday, dear friends. I am excited to be blogging from lovely Boynton Beach/Boca Raton, Florida. Every inch of land is covered in palm trees and beachy looking buildings...its beautiful, and freaking hot. I'm talking the kind of hot where I felt like I was melting the moment I set foot outside. At 10 AM. Ick. But I still love it and am thrilled for a change of scenery for the week. And I have a visit from Mom and Granny to look forward to on Friday when I get back to ATL. Beyond happy.

So as you most likely know/can gather from my last few blog posts, its been a rough few days since last Thursday. Some life changes, albeit good and necessary ones, but changes none-the-less and rarely is change easy. A and I have decided to take breather for the summer to take time out for ourselves. This is a really good thing for both of us, but obviously not too fun to think about. He is one of my best friends here, and I'll certainly miss seeing him on a regular basis, but my head and my heart are sure that our decision is the right one, and that makes me happy. We decided to feel things out again in a month or two, and see if we'd like to be together again, so we shall see what happens:)

Thanks again to all my wonderful, amazing friends who I called on this weekend--by phone or in person. You are all so special and helpful, and I am grateful to have you. You have made my life easier just by knowing you are there and you'll put up with me acting crazy every once in a while! I am so happy to know that I have made such good friends here, too. Its hard going through something, knowing none of your best friends are anywhere remotely close by. But, when I needed my friends here, they allll came out to help me. So wonderful.

I'm sure there will be more periods of craziness than moments of clarity in the near future--there's lots and lots going on, work, travel, etc--so I appreciate all the support in advance:) And I hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

Excellent Advice

Read this little tidbit from the Glamour Blog Singleish. Kristin and I talk all the time about wishing we had more confidence to go to parties or restaurants alone. I always think "If only I had one other person, I'd feel fine...", but alas, its usually just me. AND I had to remember the two times since I moved here that I did make that leap: the first time I went to dinner with my monthly out-to-eat club (I made a whole new group of friends and had my dinner bought for me by a cute boy) and the WFU happy hour (I reconnected with a sorority sister from Wake). See, it actually worked out! No more being scared or self conscious!

Greetings from Cajun Country

Hello from Louisiana! I'm having a lovely Central Time afternoon. I was ravenous by lunch time (being an hour behind), so I just scarfed down a large Mexican meal with my cokworkers, and am ready for a nap. Travel work days are always hard, because my brain doesn't get into thinking mode very easily after spending the entire morning in the car or on a plane. Especially since I was just on a plane coming back from Raleigh yesterday. Ick.

My weekend at home was excellent. I love being with my parents and my kitty and my best friends. Something about driving around Raleigh and sharing meals with the people who know me best makes me unbelievably happy and at ease. I wish I could recreate that feeling here, but I'm not sure the comfort of home is something that can be recreated period. We all know how much I needed to get out of town for a few days, and I made the most out of my short time there. If only I could've stayed another week...sigh.

And of course, now I'm out of town yet again. I flew in yesterday afternoon, shopped a little with Claire (so excited to see her again--and *gasp* she might be roommate potential since she just bought a house and has extra rooms!!). You have no idea how thrilled I was at the thought of having someone to live with again. Eeek! And if the roommate thing doesn't work out, at least now that I've seen Claire again, I'll hopefully have somewhere to hang out when I'm bored and need a friend:) Also (hilariously), Claire and I came to discover that Andrew and Claire's dad are in the same all men's cooking club. Small world indeed.

So overall, I'm feeling a little better but still missing home. Its nice to still be out of town this week and away from my lonely apartment. And so much to look forward to when I get back into town next weekend: Claire's house, Sarah's cookoutpalooza and Andrew will finally be back in town! I've missed him a lot and can't wait to see him again..I hate to be sappy, but its true!

I hope everyone had a glorious weekend and a not so bad Monday so far!

Release.

Thank goodness for good friends. As I have said many, many times before and will say many, many times in the future, my friends help me so much and I am endlessly thankful for them. Obviously its been a tough week in a lot of different ways. I'm happy to report I am no longer on the verge of tears at the office--thank goodness. I called Erin last night just to check in to see what was going on with her and to hopefully schedule a date this weekend, and ended up totally breaking down and not even meaning to. Ugh. I felt bad to unleash everything on to her, but honestly felt about 100% better after I got it all out and talked about all my craziness out loud.

Now I'm just counting down until I get to go home tonight! I can't wait to get out of Atlanta and be away from everything here for a few days. Work is a little stressful, but hopefully everything will wrap up nicely before I go out on the road next week. Lots to do!

Hope everyone has a great weekend, and here's to hoping that my weekend is the boost I've been needing all week!

Not so good.

Another day...still feeling so blah. Actually a little more than blah, just sort of sad and lonely overall. I feel like I've been on the verge of tears for the past 3 days. Why? I do not know. I hate feeling like this. Maybe its just a phase, maybe its homesickness that I didn't realize I had. Maybe I've just got too much time on my hands to think about my life, and I've just started going crazy. Ugh, I'm getting emotional just sitting here typing this, and I'm not sure how to make it better.

Everytime I've felt a little depressed or lonely since I've been here, its been shortlived. I'll have dinner with someone, hang out with Andrew or just come to the office and talk with my coworkers, and I feel better. I've never been on the verge of tears at work, and obviously don't want to be. This would be easier if I could pinpoint what is wrong. I have lots of people who love me. I love lots of people I can call anytime I need to. I have even made a few friends here who I think would be there for me whenever I needed them. I've got Andrew, who is wonderful and who I love spending time with. I get it--I'm lucky. But that doesn't make it any easier when I'm going through days like the last few. Sigh.

I'm so looking forward to being in Raleigh tomorrow, I can't even describe it. I want to see my best friends, hang out with my parents, and pretend like I don't lead a totally separate adult life in another state for a few days. And then first thing Monday morning I'm jetting off again for work. At least I only have one more night by myself--I like keeping busy and having lots of people to have dinner with, even if it is my coworkers on a business trip! And by the time I get back from that, my friend Sarah is having a big cookout and Andrew will be back in town from his vacay. I don't like the fact I won't see him for almost 2 weeks, but he deserves a nice vacation, and I know it'll be a good miss for us:) I'll just be really happy to see him when we both get back into town.

Ugh, ok. Enough with the depressing post for now. Thanks for continuing to read, my dear friends, even when my blog is boring and sad and doesn't really say much at all. I appreciate you all so much and am lucky to have you interested in my life. Hopefully this mood will improve later!

Back to reality

Sigh. Back in the office already...I can't believe my beautiful holiday weekend that I had so been looking forward to is already over! I had a really wonderful time and wish I was still in the beach condo right now!

We got down to the beach late Friday night after lots of horrible traffic out of Atlanta. Driving trough Savannah and over the bridge to the island was heaven. I felt immediately happy and relaxed and great. Saturday was rainy all day long--pouring most of the time. I wish it had been sunny and nice, but I honestly kind of enjoy the rain at the beach. Its relaxing, and Andrew and I got to spend lots of time together just playing cards and eating seafood and driving around the island going to tacky beach shops. There were also lots of delicious frozen beverages to be had as well:) Sunday was luckily less rainy, but still very overcast. We walked on the beach and laid out by the pool for a long time, and of course, I got sunburned. Apparently we were getting a lot more sun than we realized--we were both pretty red by the end of the day. I think I got dehydrated too...I didn't feel so hot by the end of the night and we ended up just sitting on the couch, eating pizza and watching movies until bedtime. Monday morning we woke up to absolutely perfect weather--the day we were leaving, of course. We packed up, took one last walk on the beach and drove to Savannah. We had a really great lunch at a restaurant overlooking the Savannah river, which was beautiful. The drive back to Atlanta was nice and quiet, but I was so sad to see the weekend end so quickly. I loved getting to spend so much time with Andrew, and I hope he had a good weekend with me too. I think it was a good test for us--I didn't get tired of him at all, which is saying a lot for me. Being with him 24/7 was actually really nice and I liked getting to know him a little better and being away from everyone with him. I hope he felt the same way:)

Once he dropped me off last night, I got my usual little wave of depression that I get when I'm by myself again after having been with people for a long period of time. I still hate that I feel this way! I wish I could just be happy after having such a great weekend, but instead I just felt a little bit empty. I'm starting to wonder if I really don't like living alone as much as I thought I did? I do cherish my alone time sometimes, but after having someone to constantly be around and talk to all weekend, I just feel lonely when I'm by myself again. I have plenty of friends and family I can call, but sometimes its just not the same. I love that I can call Kristin anytime I need to, and she is always there for me and genuinely understands what I'm feeling. Maybe I've just got a little more homesickness going on...I don't know. Thankfully, this is only a 3 day work week for me, and I get to go home this weekend! I can't wait to see my parents, my cat and my friends.

Thanks for reading all about my craziness. Its kind of helpful to put this stuff out there sometimes:) Overall, I'm a happy girl this week. First grown up boy-girl vacay is checked off the list! And I get to be in North Carolina, the best place in the whole world, in 3 days. In the mean time, there's plenty at work to keep me busy. Although, I'll definitely be making time to post my feelings on last night's intense episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, since I'm an official blog stalker for them now! Hope you all had a wonderful 3 days!

One of those days

I can already tell its going to be one of those days where I post about 15 times, because the internet is full of treasures and tidbits!

First: super shocking (or maybe not so much) story and photos from US Weekly. Jon (from Jon and Kate Plus 8, of course) leaving da club at 2 am with some mystery chick while Kate is away on a book tour. Uh oh! I must admit that I do watch the show (one of my guiltiest pleasures, along with Secret Life of the American Teenager and Tough Love on VH1), and although I can't blame Jon for wanting to get out of the house away from the kids and (very nagging) wife, what the heck is he thinking? Can't wait to see how this one pans out.

Second: The Hurricanes won their first series of the NHL playoffs last night in a crazy last minute win! Although I admit that I was out and didn't actually watch the game (shame on me), I'm so excited! Good for them, and I hope they can go all the way to the Stanley Cup this year! Side note: between my March Madness obsession this year, my recent foray into frisbee golf and this, when did I get so sporty??

Third: I was robbed of my NC BBQ in Atlanta experience last night. We drove to the restaurant only to find it closed (permanently?), but the sign said "visit our other location at XYZ address", which we obviously did. It was the catering headquarters which is only open for lunch on Fridays. WTF? I was so looking forward to a mountain of meat for dinner...sigh. We ended up getting some delicious Mexican food, so I was alright:) I'm pretty sure that I'm going to require a trip to the good old Barbeque Lodge in Raleigh this weekend though!

Fourth: Andrew is much more tech-savvy than I am, and last night he bought be a cord for my computer to hook into my tv. So now I can watch online tv shows and youtube videos on my big screen! Its so wonderful..who knew?

Fifth: Thank the Lord for Starbucks extra bold blend in the cafeteria downstairs. Not enough sleep last night=caffiene is my best friend today. Hopefully I can stay awake and get lots of work done today. I just hate days when that first thing I think of in the morning is "what time can I get back in my bed tonight?". Its just one of those days.

Sixth: My mood continues to be excellent, despite the extreme sleepiness. I think I was just a little crazy over the weekend, but that's nothing new for me. Overall, I'm lucky to be a happy, independent and generally not overly emotional person. Sometimes a little crazy spills out...it happens.

Seventh: Again, A. might be one of the best people ever. He has a free companion ticket from all of his Skymiles that he has to use before July, which means I might have a free ride to NYC to visit K one last time before she leaves the city. How perfect is that?

What a snooze

I took a cue from Kristin, and read through a bunch of my blog posts yesterday. I cam to discover that I am so boring. Especially lately...everything has been very blah and a little bit of a downer. Granted, my life has sort of been a little bit of a downer lately, but thankfully I think that is turning around! I am finally feeling secure and happy again, back to my old self. Insert sigh of relief here.

I've got a little down time today, so I'm hoping to plan a few weekend getaways that I can look forward to. I definitely need to get back to Raleigh soon, maybe even a couple of times, and I want to try to get up to NYC to visit K before she leaves Manhattan forever (so soon!). Lots of excitement. Thank goodness for Spring and warm weather and the feeling that I actually want to get out of the house and explore again!

Good things about right now:
1. It's Friday! I think that deserves a list in itself.
2. I have a massage appt for tomorrow--the first one in forever.
3. The rain that is washing away all the nasty, evil pollen.
4. Some quiet time in the office.
5. Making travel plans to see the best people I know.
6. Bojangles french fry seasoning. Turns out it makes pretty much everything taste better.
7. Lunch dates.
8. Dinner dates with new friends.
9. Pretty nail polish.

Sigh of relief

After many, many hours of thinking, deliberating and agonizing over my life situation of last week, everything is finally out in the open and I can breathe easy again! Yay! I'm not used to having so much (if any at all) drama in my life, so I'm glad that I don't have to constantly think about it anymore and berate all my friends for their opinions on every aspect. All the advice was very much appreciated though:)

Raleigh was great. I got home safely Thursday night, slept in my own bed and got to see my kitty! Friday I went shoe shopping and was apparently feeling pretty gangsta because I bought not one, but two pairs of shiny gold metallic shoes. One pair of awesome Coach tennis shoes and one pair of Jack Rogers. Its love. I had lunch with Be and dinner with my parents and grandparents at the Angus Barn. As much as I love that place, I just physically cannot eat that much meat on a regular basis. I'm pretty much done with meat for the rest of this week, if not next week too! But, my prime rib was pretty awesome:) Saturday, Sara and I ate Boajngles on her living room floor and played wii games until we were sore (wii boxing is intense physical activity), I saw Erin at Cameron Village and had dinner with the entire fam again that night. My mom made a very delicious chocolate cake too:) Sunday, I attempted to fill out my taxes which was a total waste of time, and otherwise lazed around the house until the parents took me back to the airport. I feel bad that I didn't spend more time with them--or maybe just the fact that the time I did spend with them was consumed with me thinking of other things. Oh, well. As soon as I got home last night, I went over to A's house where he made me a very fancy schmancy dinner and we watched Wake lose to Duke. I really like spending my Sundays with him.

And, here I am back at the office and so tired that I'm drinking black Starbucks coffee. The one downside of having a social life: I definitely don't get my 9 hours of sleep every night. I think I can deal with it though:) The absolute best part of this week: in 3 days I'll be in New Orleans with Kristin!!! Excited beyond belief.